How I Write
My friend Allison asked me to participate in a
blog tour exploring our writing process. I said yes, because I love her, but
also because it’s something I wanted to think about, myself. I first heard of
Allison through her viral piece “The Mom Stays in the Picture” and we started
an online friendship that grew when I met her last year at the Type-A conference in Atlanta. Now we I count
her as a close friend, and I think she’s brilliant, classy, and fun.
Onward with the questions:
1. What am I working on?
Right now I’m working on the Listen To Your Mother
Austin show, which is a month away. It’s my first year as a co-producer, and there
is so much to do. It’s rewarding and wonderful, and in the meantime, I haven’t
made as much time to write for fun.
I do have a children’s book coming
out sometime this year, and that is a dream come true. I can’t share too many
details on the collaboration yet, but I can’t wait to reveal our work.
Occasionally, I write for Scary Mommy and Huffington Post, and I
look forward to getting back in the groove. Airport Improvement hires me to
write feature stories for them, and it’s more fun than it may sound, especially
if you love aviation the way I do. I’m
waiting for Jalopnik or Top Gear to ask me to write about cars for them; when I
convinced a local company in Austin to let me write about driving one of their
Ferraris, I nearly passed out from excitement.
I’m headed to the Erma Bombeck
writers’ conference this weekend, and hoping for some inspiration and
definitely camaraderie with friends.
2. How does my writing differ from
others of its genre?
It seems to me that even if 200
writers wrote about the same topic, each would be completely different, because
we each have our own voice. My writing tends to be more tear-inducing than others,
I’m told… for better or for worse. I am very honest, but I try to be
diplomatic. I want to lift people up and give them hope; I don’t want to be the
one who drags them down.
3. Why do I write what I do?
Right now, at this point in my life,
I write about what it’s like to be a mother, wife, daughter, sister, or friend,
and all of the complexities within each set of relationships. I don’t offer
advice on parenting; that’s not my intent. I’m no expert, and honestly, I’m not
sure if there is such a person. We’re all parenting to the child or children we
have, and we’re all different. I have touched
on some serious topics, such as domestic violence, eating disorders, abuse, and
rape, but with the message that there is hope and light at the end of the
tunnel. In general, I believe that to be true. My life has taken a lot of
twisty turns, and it has led me to this place in time: the best part so far.
4. How does my writing process work?
Did you say “process”? I’m not a
super-organized person (as my husband will lament) and I don’t think in a
linear fashion (as former bosses might lament). Mostly, my process consists of
taking notes on my phone when I get a bright idea, and then letting it marinate
until I come back to it. In the meantime, I might find a short stretch of time
to devote to writing, and I crank out a thousand words in 20 minutes. Then, I
let that sit. Later, I might put a free writing essay with another idea and
come up with a cohesive piece.
That’s what happened with one of my
most-read pieces, “What
Will I Know?” on HuffPost Parents in conjunction with Alexandra Rosas. I had written the first part after seeing
some teenage boys on the street and thinking about what my son might look like
at their age. After a few weeks, I contacted Alexandra and pitched her with the
idea to make it a view of motherhood from two angles, and she was game. Together, our piece had more than 37,000
likes. And Alexandra has gone on to be a featured writer at HuffPost and
continues to amaze me with the quality of her writing.
Overall, my process is letting it
come to me and then thinking about it and coming back to it. It’s rare that I write and post right away –
I can think of only two times that worked out for me, and they were subjects I
felt very passionate about: kids
and food allergies; and my relationship with my (wonderful) mother-in-law
and the kind of mother-in-law I want to be.
* * * * *
Part of the blog hop is asking two
more writers to answer these questions. First I asked Sarah Reinhart, a mother of four (and
almost five) and a talented writer and photographer. I met Sarah through
friends and have since connected her to a friend of mine who has moved to her
neck of the woods in Kentucky. It’s incredible to be connected to so many
wonderful women all over the world. Sarah has a style that makes me feel happy,
warm, and relaxed when I read her words. And her photos have a soft quality
that draws you in and makes you feel as though you’re right at home with her.
Next, I asked Sean Wilson, a friend I met at the Type-A conference where I met Allison. Sean and I exchanged Twitter and Instagram handles and started building
our friendship even more after we went back to our separate corners of Texas. I
love Sean’s brave voice; she is coming into her own with every post. Sean asked me if she should submit a piece to
the brand-new Listen
To Your Mother show in Beaumont, Texas, and I said, “Yes!” And guess what: she’s in the cast. I couldn’t be prouder of her.
Sarah and Sean will post their own
answers next Monday on their own blogs. In the meantime, take a look at my
friend Katie’s
answers from her blog. Katie is a fantastic teacher and writer and I think
you’ll like what she has to say too.