A letter to my son about love

My sweet boy, I'm already imagining you as a young man... as an adult...and I'm thinking about what it might be like when you fall in love.  Talk to your father about love, because he has always been very insightful and amazingly wise about it.  We fell in love when your dad was 28 and I was 33, and we had both thought we had known love before, but this was a different brand... it was the right time, and we were right for each other.  I know that your daddy has my back and will always be here for me; there is no doubt in my mind.  His kind of integrity and moral standards are difficult to find.  Learn from him.

Remember that it's OK to fight, but fight fair.  What I have learned from experience is the difference between a great marriage and a shaky one is the way you settle disagreements.  When your father and I argue, we try not to do so in front of you.   And we don't let the arguments fester for long... we settle it, and get over it.  The great thing about your dad is that when he's wrong, he'll apologize sincerely.   Although we may disagree vehemently on an issue, there is no question that he would never turn his back on me and an argument doesn't mean the end of our relationship... it's just a bump in the road we have to navigate.

Find someone who makes you laugh and will comfort you when you're sad, or frustrated, or mad.  These qualities alone will see you through the tough times.  Love completely and never regret - the love you give, no matter what the outcome, does not diminish the love you still have in your heart.  You will probably fall in love more than once, and you will find that each time is different, and maybe what you thought was love wasn't as real as you thought it once was.  When you find the right person, you will figure it out.  Trust yourself.

Love is not one-sided; it is complete and true when it is reciprocal.  The love we have for each other and for you means a nurturing home in which for you to grow.  I thank God for your father every night, and I thank him for you - our little miracle.  I waited a long time for you, my precious child.  I pray for your compassion, and kindness, and strength.  I pray you'll make good decisions and choose your words and actions with care.  I pray that you will love us always as we love you.

Keep growing, my son.  You have plenty of time to keep stretching your wings.